South America - March 10th - Bariloche

Early to rise (see if you read the last line of March 9th and then go straight into March 10th it just flows…genius). Early to rise because we are going horseback riding. I rode a pony at the Louisville Zoo when I was 5, so you could say that I have a significant amount of experience in the saddle. Actually, I was pretty sure that when the gauchos saw my skills and abilities I would immediately be offered a position on the ranch.

We arrive at the ranch and are offered yerba maté tea while we waited for the ranch hands to put all the gear on the horses. Yerba mate tea is a type of tea popular you in Argentina. It is also the bitterest beverage that has ever touched my lips. There is also a very intricate process you must follow to make the maté. It all starts with a cup made out of a gourd and a metal straw with a filter on one end. You put the straw into the cup and fill the cup with leaves. Next, you pour water on the straw and let it run down into the leaves, so as not to scald the leaves. Then you drink this boiling hot beverage through the straw and try not to spit it back out. I brought some home, so just ask if you want to try it.

We also spent some time petting a llama/alpaca. I say llama/alpaca because I’m not sure what it was. When it was time for riding we went out and were assigned our horses. Some of the horses had fun names like Pisco Sour and Margarita, but I forgot to ask what mine was. I could tell that the horse was all business and probably had an Argentine name that when translated to English would be Works Harder Than A Mule But Is Faster Than Seabiscuit (I know that doesn’t really flow off the tongue, but I could tell that’s what type of horse it was). Actually, I was just hoping my horse didn’t pull a Barbaro while we were out in the wilderness. There is only one thing I hate more than putting down a horse (knowing that I’d probably have to choke it out because I don’t think anyone was carrying a gun) and that is walking back to camp. The first of the two rides was considered the more scenic of the trips. It involved hills and great picture opportunities. It also involved one of the females falling off her horse while at a fast pace. As scary as it was when it happened, it was kind of funny later. I mean, she FELL off a horse. I doubt she’d do well in the rodeo. I’m almost got it on video, too. I literally turned off the camera (I was making a documentary about being a cowboy) five seconds before she went down. She’s lucky she didn’t get trampled too.

Two hours of riding can sure make a gaucho hungry, so it was back to the ranch and an authentic asado criollo (cookout). We gathered around the table and were served bar-b-qued beef, pork sausage, salad, potatoes, and Tang. Yes, Tang. Surprisingly, this was not the last time we would be offered Tang in Argentina. I guess the Argentine’s figure that if it’s good enough for the astronauts, it’s good enough for our visitors.

Our day as gauchos wasn’t over as we still had two more hours on the trails. The second half of the journey would be the forest section of the farm. Because I had great command of the horse we successfully navigated the forest, as well as the galloping in the open field. Did I mention that the horse knew exactly where it was going and that it didn’t matter what I did because it was going to do what it wanted. They gave me a switch to hit the horse, but I’m pretty sure it was just to make me feel powerful. That switch did nothing. About 100 yards from the end of the ride, one of the horses stopped sat down, rolled onto its side as to throw it’s rider off, got up, and finished without her. He said that’s enough, I’m done. It was a really fun day.

That night we had more fondue and went to this fun chocolate shop (Mamushka) where I offended the workers. It wasn’t embarrassing at all.