Summers Over

Summers over. It ends tonight. Tomorrow, I go off to be an MBA student again. Luckily, I learned one very important thing this summer. No, it had nothing to do with my internship.

The one important thing I learned is that old woman LOVE Trace Adkins. Let me tell you a story. My sister and I were all excited because Dierks Bentley was going to be at the Kentucky State Fair, and since he played Bonnaroo this year I knew he had talent. Well, it turns out that Dierks was going to be playing after Kellie Pickler but before Trace Adkins. We were like, “Who wants to see Trace Adkins?” and “Why is he headlining?” Well we found out who wanted to see Trace Adkins. The old ladies. Apparently, to the geriatric crowd Mr. Adkins is dripping sex appeal. Most of his songs are about sexing chicks, and they are accompanied by a nearly constant stream of pelvic thrusts. I was impressed. Andrew Miller was not (“If he thrusts one more time, I am going to kick him in the balls”). You have not lived until you have seen a grandma booty dancing to Honky Tonk Ba Donka Donk (Real name to a Trace Adkins song). Entertaining? Yes. Am I fan? No.

Dierks Bentley was highly entertaining, and even had a bluegrass mini-set. I snagged the setlist after the show. Kellie Pickler is kinda dump.

Song Recommendation – Paranoia in B Major by The Avett Brothers

Fishing

So, while at Lake Cumberland for the family vacation (incredible time on the houseboat, that lake is amazing) Scott, John and I did a lot of fishing. There are an infinite number of bait combinations and techniques that are used to catch specific types of fish. There are also many different reasons people fish. Some people catch and release, some people put fish on their walls, and some people eat what they catch. What if humans are being fished? (I guess it would actually be called humaned.)

Think about it. People get all different types of diseases. Some people die. Some people live. Some people live only to catch a different disease. What if some superior life form comes to earth to go humaning, just like humans go to bodies of water to go fishing? Imagine these life forms baiting up some disease ("I'm going to try aids to get that gay human" or "I'm going to go with a heart attack for that male human") and then celebrating with their buddies when they catch a human ("I'm having all kinds of luck with this breast cancer bait on the woman fish, you guys should try it. I'm going to send this one back though, I only catch humans for sport.")

Is that morbid? A fish being caught has to be just as tramatically exhausting as a human getting cancer. So why isn't that morbid? Because we think fish aren't as smart as we are? Well I'm sure these superior life forms are smarter than humans. They probably laugh at us.

I swear I am not on drugs.

Song Recommendation - To Go Home by M. Ward

A Thought

Does anyone else find it funny when they see a "These Colors Don't Run" bumper sticker, and the sticker is faded and the colors have ran together. One would think, that if they were going to make a bumper sticker specifically saying that the colors on this bumper sticker will not run, they would use ink that doesn't run.

UNLESS, the liberal media is attempting to discredit the president by making stickers whose colors do run. OR, even worse, it is a terrorist cell in the US that taken control of print shop. Now that is scary a scary thought. Those terrorist printers.

Song Recommendation - Losing You by John Butler Trio

Market Street Bar Crawl

The imagery is too real for real life. You walk in the front door, say excuse me to the local singing karaoke to We Didn't Start The Fire by Billy Joel, and grab a seat. You're eyes begin to hurt immediately from the cigarette smoke as you attempt to examine your surroundings in the darkness. Budweiser memorabilia covers the walls. The bar is deep but not very wide. Pool tables in back. A couple making out one table over. A man sits at the bar drinking whiskey and working on his computer, only to take breaks to sing Journey on karaoke. You've just stepped into Good Times Bar & Grill.

For Scott's (Katy Rosenberger’s boyfriend) 24th birthday, Katy organized a bar crawl along Market Street in downtown New Albany. Scott has been talking about this bar crawl for the past 2 years, so the anticipation for the event was pretty high. Katy, Scott, Shannon, Amos, Jacob, Nate, Sara, and I planned to cover all the watering holes frequented by locals in downtown New Albany. We started out at Hitching Post Tavern (across from the jail) with Guns N Roses and Hank Jr. on the jukebox and canned beer served at the bar. Next was the Good Times Bar & Grill described above. The final stop was the New Albany landmark Hugh E. Birs (located on Market and 4th....the original 4th Street Live as they say at the bar). Each bar was scarier than the first. Hitching Post was downright friendly, as we were the only customers. Good Times was good times with karaoke. Hugh E. Birs had a shuffleboard converted into a stage with instruments plugged in and ready to be played. The stage was literally 36 inches wide, with a drum kit hanging from the ceiling. They sold PBR in the bottle. There was a room designated for Women/Couples. There were meth addicts singing the praises of drinking Tequila Sunrises.

A legendary night for all. Scott Maymon is an idiot for missing it.