Thursday, April 24, 2008

South America - March 15th - Buenos Aires

Last day in South America and the only way to spend it is to spend it on a boat. I love boats and one of the excursions the group was offered was a river cruise. It was a 50 passenger boat with 5 of us on it. Hilarious. The delta was really cool. It had tons of small islands everywhere and grocery boats that would stop at the little islands. The inhabitants would come out onto this convenient store looking boat and make their purchases. Pretty neat. There was also schools and about everything you would need. I don’t know how the adults made a living, but it would be an awesome way to grow up.

The flight back to the US was uneventful. They played this John Cusack movie and one would think that it couldn’t get worse than that. But yet it can. It can when the John Cusack movie is called Martian Child and the premise is that he has an adopted son who he thinks is a Martian. Seriously. That was the plot.

A great trip. I would recommend Chile and/or Argentina to anyone who would listen.

South America - March 14th - Buenos Aires

Since we had 4 days in Buenos Aires without travel, we were able to have a much more laid back experience compared to the rest of the trip. I don’t know if I liked it though. I’m not much of a city person, so after a few days I tend to get restless. Sara and I wanted to take a boat over to Uruguay (it’s only like 90 minutes by boat), but it just didn’t work out. Instead, we walked across town to the real rich part of town. Well, we tried to. So, I read the map wrong. Sue me. Sara got pretty mad and told me that she knew why I quit being a pilot. Haha. It was hilarious. I got us there eventually. Even got us back. Even found Evita’s grave in the cemetery. Why to people feel so compelled to see Evita’s grave. You didn’t know this lady. You aren’t Argentine. You have no emotional connection to the broad. For all you know, you think she looks like Madonna and likes to sing in English instead of talking normal in Spanish. What, you love her because she has a lot of shoes? Come on now. I will admit the cemetery in Buenos Aires was nicer than the Pere-Lachaise Cemetery in Paris.

We also spent time at one of the cities famous cafes. Argentina is known for it's cafe culture, so it was just to play local for a while.

South America - March 13th - Buenos Aires

It’s often the little things that stick out when you’re in a different place. One of those little things that I noticed about Chile and Argentina is that their bottle openers are different. The difference is the placement of the “hook”. In America, the book is located closer to the middle of the opener and when you use it, you latch the opener onto the bottle cap and push the cap away from you. Well, the openers in Chile/Argentina have the hooks at the end of opener and when you latch the opener onto the bottle cap, you pull the cap towards you. I borrowed one of these openers from the hotel mini bar.

Back in the 70’s, one of the dictators stole a bunch of the babies and they were re-disbursed across the country. Well, obviously the moms didn’t like this and they still memorialize this event by holding a protest a couple days a week. Sara and I are all for not having little babies stolen from their moms, so we went to the protest. The moms (who are quite old now) throw papers in the air and walk around in a circle and sell things to run a foundation that offers DNA testing to those who think they may have been stolen back in the day.

That night we went to a steakhouse buffet. For $17 it was all you can eat meat, papas fritas, and a liter of cola/beer/bottle of wine. The only problem is that we had limited knowledge of the different pig and cow parts. So, I doubt we’ll ever know what we were eating exactly. We went by the consistency rule. If something shot out of the skin when you cut into it, you didn’t eat it. If it appeared to just be fat, it probably was and you didn’t eat it. If the cook laughed when he gave it to you, you didn’t eat it.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

South America - March 12th - Buenos Aires

Beth, from Sara’s group used to live in Buenos Aires and tipped us off to this great shopping center across the city. To get there, we took the subway. The subway was clean, easy to use, and on-time. While Sara’s was buying the tickets I wondered over to a class display case that housed a variety a cigars (apparently the subway is a good place to refill on nicotine). In the display case there were both Cuban cigars and Black & Mild “cigars”. So you had a choice between the cigars that all cigars are measured against, and the cheapest American cigars that kids smoke in white kids from the suburb smoke to prove how tough they are.

We get to the mall but were pretty disappointed in the offerings. Not that it wasn’t a nice mall. It was just that it was like a large American mall. Same layout. Same stores. Same prices. What the mall wasn’t lacking was McDonald’s, because it had three of them (Buenos Aires knows that these colors don’t run). In fact, there were two in the food court. You might think that sounds dumb, but you would be wrong. You are wrong because one of those two in the food court was McDonald’s Kosher (The only one in the world outside of Israel). Same great products, but with a Jewish twist. Actually, not the same great products because you can’t get cheese on anything at a Kosher McDonalds. Even though Kosher salt on french fries really makes them rock, I think I’ll stick with the regular, “unclean” McDonald’s. There is also a rabbi on staff to make sure everything is……kosher (that’s the first time I think I’ve used that term literally).

We spent the rest of the day walking around the city and pretending like we were locals. Of course, to do that we had to pretend like I didn’t have neon bright blond hair. We stopped at a Café Havanna for some coffee and alfajores (these disgusting little moon pie type things that Sara kept ordering…I don’t know if she really liked them or just wanted to be Argentine), and I became instantly addicted to this one drink. It was incredible. I’m pretty sure it was really bad for me, but then I’d have to know what was in it to know if it was bad for me…..I’ll pretend it wasn’t.

That night we went to this steakhouse around the corner of the hotel. We didn’t know if it was going to be good until we stuffed in and they had a stuffed cow and stuffed horse in the entry way. Then we knew we picked a good place. Steaks and empanadas (empanadas are served before the meal like a salad would be in America….these people love beef…they have beef appetizers before their beef main course) for everyone.

South America - March 11th - Buenos Aires

Bariloche had the most efficient airport I’ve ever had the pleasure of leaving from. We got to the airport, they took our bag, handed us a ticket without showing ID, walked through security that may or may not be able to identify if you’re carrying an assault rifle under your shirt, and onto the airplane. We landed in Buenos Aires and de-planed on the tarmac. Old school style. Down the stairs and across the airplane parking lot (I mean really, that’s what it is….or maybe bus stop would be more accurate).

Buenos Aires likes to think of itself as a European city and it has a much different feel than Santiago. There are many more cafes and tiny restaurants. Pedestrian walking shirts and the like. The streets are narrow and almost all one way. Well, except for the 24-lane Avenida de 9 Julio. We took a bus tour of the city and saw the typical sights of independence and revolution. We stopping in the La Boca neighborhood to walk around. La Boca is home to La Boca Juniors (the team of Argentine star – read god- Maradona) and was probably once a really neat, artistic part of town. All the buildings are painted different colors due to the fact that they just used leftover paint from the ships back in the day. Now it is full of tourists and I think any flavor that it once had is now just fake and part of the show. Also, you aren’t supposed to go there after dark.

That night we went to a tango show. The way one of these things work is that a meal is packaged with the show. But let’s be honest. These guys specialty is dancing. Not cooking beef and empanada’s. Speaking of empanadas. You know that Coke commercial from a few years back when one roommate eats the other roommate’s empanadas and drinks his Coke. I never really understood that commercial because I didn’t know what an empanada was (let alone had I have ever tasted one). Empanadas are like little meat filled tarts. Kinda like a Hot Pocket. Speaking of Hot Pockets, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten one without burning my mouth…it’s almost warning me that it’s filled with processed cheese and meat. Back to the empanadas. I now know that if my roommate had eaten my empanada I would have killed that dude and buried his body in the backyard. Those things are delicious. Back to the tango show. The actual show was in this tiny little venue with a raised stage. There were a lot of scandalous outfits, twirling, dancing, singing, and accordions. It was fun. About on par with Stomp. Really fun for 15 minutes and then the same things for another 90 minutes.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

South America - March 10th - Bariloche

Early to rise (see if you read the last line of March 9th and then go straight into March 10th it just flows…genius). Early to rise because we are going horseback riding. I rode a pony at the Louisville Zoo when I was 5, so you could say that I have a significant amount of experience in the saddle. Actually, I was pretty sure that when the gauchos saw my skills and abilities I would immediately be offered a position on the ranch.

We arrive at the ranch and are offered yerba maté tea while we waited for the ranch hands to put all the gear on the horses. Yerba mate tea is a type of tea popular you in Argentina. It is also the bitterest beverage that has ever touched my lips. There is also a very intricate process you must follow to make the maté. It all starts with a cup made out of a gourd and a metal straw with a filter on one end. You put the straw into the cup and fill the cup with leaves. Next, you pour water on the straw and let it run down into the leaves, so as not to scald the leaves. Then you drink this boiling hot beverage through the straw and try not to spit it back out. I brought some home, so just ask if you want to try it.

We also spent some time petting a llama/alpaca. I say llama/alpaca because I’m not sure what it was. When it was time for riding we went out and were assigned our horses. Some of the horses had fun names like Pisco Sour and Margarita, but I forgot to ask what mine was. I could tell that the horse was all business and probably had an Argentine name that when translated to English would be Works Harder Than A Mule But Is Faster Than Seabiscuit (I know that doesn’t really flow off the tongue, but I could tell that’s what type of horse it was). Actually, I was just hoping my horse didn’t pull a Barbaro while we were out in the wilderness. There is only one thing I hate more than putting down a horse (knowing that I’d probably have to choke it out because I don’t think anyone was carrying a gun) and that is walking back to camp. The first of the two rides was considered the more scenic of the trips. It involved hills and great picture opportunities. It also involved one of the females falling off her horse while at a fast pace. As scary as it was when it happened, it was kind of funny later. I mean, she FELL off a horse. I doubt she’d do well in the rodeo. I’m almost got it on video, too. I literally turned off the camera (I was making a documentary about being a cowboy) five seconds before she went down. She’s lucky she didn’t get trampled too.

Two hours of riding can sure make a gaucho hungry, so it was back to the ranch and an authentic asado criollo (cookout). We gathered around the table and were served bar-b-qued beef, pork sausage, salad, potatoes, and Tang. Yes, Tang. Surprisingly, this was not the last time we would be offered Tang in Argentina. I guess the Argentine’s figure that if it’s good enough for the astronauts, it’s good enough for our visitors.

Our day as gauchos wasn’t over as we still had two more hours on the trails. The second half of the journey would be the forest section of the farm. Because I had great command of the horse we successfully navigated the forest, as well as the galloping in the open field. Did I mention that the horse knew exactly where it was going and that it didn’t matter what I did because it was going to do what it wanted. They gave me a switch to hit the horse, but I’m pretty sure it was just to make me feel powerful. That switch did nothing. About 100 yards from the end of the ride, one of the horses stopped sat down, rolled onto its side as to throw it’s rider off, got up, and finished without her. He said that’s enough, I’m done. It was a really fun day.

That night we had more fondue and went to this fun chocolate shop (Mamushka) where I offended the workers. It wasn’t embarrassing at all.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

South America - March 9th - Puerto Varas to Bariloche

I learned that in it is really hard to write emails without the @ symbol. You see, the keyboards in South America are different than those in North America. The letters aren’t in the same place because they have different letters all together. You know, the ones with the tildas on top. The @ symbol isn’t on the 2 either. In fact, it wasn’t anywhere. Somewhere hidden. Clearly, this was some sort of conspiracy to decrease the productivity of people from the USA while in country. Some sort of tricky idea to send us into a recession (opps, I said the word). Don’t they know that these colors don’t run.

March 9th was a travel day from Puerto Varas, Chile to Bariloche, Argentina. The easiest way to do this is to get on an airplane and fly over the mountains (with this option there is always the possible of our plane crashing and having to eat each other like in the movie ALIVE!....I would have no problem eating Sara). Often, the easiest way to do something isn’t most fun or most adventurous way to do something. So we decided to take a boat across the Andes. Nick, are you stupid. When there is water around mountains those mountains are called islands. Nope, not stupid. Since Chile is so unstable (Ring of Fire, earthquakes, and such) lakes are created in weird places. So, the journey we took involved taking 4 boats and 3 buses along the way. We made a stop to a national park before starting the trip and got some awesome pictures next to some crazy whitewater further upstream than where we rafted (If you haven’t looked, there are new pictures from the trip if you follow the link on the right side of the page). All the boat trips were really relaxing and a cool way to hang out, read a book, and check out the scenery. The bus trip across the Andes was wild in that you could tell the bus driver had driven this route a million times and new every turn. Consequently, he didn’t need to slow down on the blind turns along a one lane road. No matter even if we were driving right through the middle of the farm (“The horses will move”). Halfway through our journey we stopped at this tiny hotel in this tiny town (the only people that lived in the town were people who worked at the hotel or worked for the bus/boat company). We ate the fastest lunch ever eaten because we had to catch the next bus and had zero time. It was super stressful. But funny. Really funny. I felt bad for the people working in the café. Our journey didn’t go without injury though. As we waited in customs in Argentina, swarms of bees attacked the group with fury. People were taking shots to neck. To the arms. Generally, just wailing and gnashing of teeth insued.

We arrived in Bariloche at sunset and watched the sun go down over the lake while driving to our hotel. We checked in, changed, and headed out to dinner at a Swiss restaurant (there is a great deal of Swiss and German influence in Bariloche) called Familia Weiss. We ate lots of cheese and fondue and goloush and steak and it was all delicious and awesome. Early to bed.

Monday, April 07, 2008

South America - March 8th - Puerto Varas

We woke up on the morning of the 8th and said goodbye to Santiago. Guessing by the airport security, the threat level in Chile is a negative color (yea, wrap your mind around that). No shoes coming off. No belts coming off. I’m pretty sure you could walk through security with a handgun in one hand and bullets in the other. The flight south to Puerto Varas took about two hours and we landed in one of the largest airports I’ve ever walked through. It had not one but TWO luggage conveyors. I know. I know. Ridiculous. So yea, the town we were in was pretty small. We left the airport and got on what is known as the Pan-American Highway. You can apparently get on the highway at the airport and drive all the way to Alaska. Sounds like a pretty fun trip to me. Who’s going to plan it? One thing we noticed and the tour guide mentioned is that everything looked to have been burned. Fields next to the side of the road were charred and barren. But no fire. The day before our arrival to the area rain had arrived and put out a fire that had apparently been burning for THREE (3!!!!!!) MONTHS.

Our hotel in Puerto Varas sat overlooking Lake Llanquehue (Yan Kee Way). Which provided a pretty spectacular view when we were waiting for our rooms to be ready (checking-in with 38 people can be quite the hassle). Luckily, the hotel provided us with pisco sours while we waited. Actually, I should say unluckily because those things are gross. Pisco sour is the “favorite” drink of Chileans. I use quotations marks because it seemed like all the Chilean’s we asked didn’t like them. I can see why. Pisco is a distilled drink that tastes like stall tequila. Pisco sour is pisco mixed with egg whites and lemon juice. It is bizarre and not good. Like a terrible margarita with a weird consistency.

We had enough time to put down our bags, change into our swim suits, and grab a quick lunch (jamon y queso….that’s ham and cheese and my fallback food option in all Spanish speaking countries…..of course) before we were off to rafting.

Forty-five minute bus trips aren’t that fun unless the time is spent driving around a huge lake surrounded by ridiculous mountains and green pastures (a weird and cool contrast). So we show up at the rafting center and almost immediately the girls started fawning over the rafting guides. I’m pretty sure that being a rafting guide is one of the easiest ways to pick up women. We had to take a short hike to where the rafts were put in. The ground wasn’t so much dirt, as it was volcanic dust (nutrient rich!). Luckily, the path ran next to a bee hive and the bees were happy to let everyone know they were there (100 yard journeys can’t be considered epic without injuries). We put the rafts into the bluest-green water these eyes have ever seen and were off. It was an awesome trip. While the rapids were only class-II-III, the scenery was amazing (and more than made up for the non-hair-raising experience). Having the trip being framed by a mountain range off one shoulder and a volcano off the other was incredible. We passed under a cable line and cart that was used to pass cows (one at a time) across the river. That part of being a gaucho doesn’t seem so fun.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

South America - March 7th - Santiago

March 7th was the only legitimate off day for Sara's group, so we had the tour guide take us around the city and show us what was up with Santiago. We stopped by the Presidential Palace to see what was going on but sadly we weren't allowed to go in. The Palace is adjacent to a large square. I think we all know what South American squares outside of presidential palaces are used for revolution (REVOLUTION, Revolution in the streets!!!). Sure enough, the facades of all the buildings that lined the square were covered with bullet holes. I mean, why fix the bullet holes when you'll just have to fix them again after the next revolution (REVOLUTION!!!!). Just a few short blocks from the Palace was a shopping district and this was the next stop on our tour. It was in this shopping district that I learned about a very high class piece of Chilean society. Our tour guide was really excited to show us this place. Cafes con piernes. Coffee with legs. Coffee with legs is a genre of coffee shop where your coffee is served by scantily clad women on raised platforms. No nudity (remember I said high class). Let me tell you, the coffee was exquisite.
Actually, the whole experience was really awkward. Sara went two days in a row, so she must have not thought so. Since coffee makes you go to the bathroom (el bano) in about 30 seconds after you drink it, I had to find a public one. Most of the shops downtown don't have a bathroom and you have to use a pay version. Kinda like riding the subway in that you pay for a ticket and then are allowed to go through a turnstile in the bathroom. One thing that's tricky is that toilet paper isn't kept in the stalls. You have to get it before you go to the stalls. That would be a heck of a mistake to make. Since you have to pay for entry, it was a really clean public bathroom. So at least they have that going for them.

We ended up heading to the fish market to take a look around and also to grab lunch. Nothing like seeing what you are going to eat before you eat it. Similarly, there is nothing like picking something to eat and then afterward seeing what whatever you ate looks like. We realized quickly that this is one of those deals in which the tour guide takes us to a certain restaurant and then they eat for free. That’s fine. I have no problem with that. Especially if the food is good. Luckily, the place they chose did have good food. A bit of confusion was encountered when we ordered appetizers. We thought we were getting a sampler of different dishes, but in reality we got something like 7 different (mussels, snails, abalones, clams, shrimp, squid, oysters) full appetizers. That’s a bit much for 6 people. Especially when they don’t know that’s what they are getting and also order a full meal. Pretty hilarious really.

After lunch we took a trip to the top of this mountain that overlooks the city. Pretty cool view. The only sad part about it is that our entire time in Santiago we didn’t get to see the city framed by the Andes Mountains in the background. Most people will say smog. The people of Santiago deny that it’s smog. You can believe whatever you want. At the top of the mountain there is a large statue of the Virgin Mary that overlooks the city (very similar to the statue of Jesus that overlooks Rio De Janeiro). There is also a ski lift that takes you from the mountain top to the base. That ride wasn’t so much fun. Especially when the lift stops in the middle and you’re just swinging back and forth.